Joy in the Journey

My eldest two children are 18 months apart in age. This has many pros, as well as cons. One of the cons, my daughters go through stages back-to-back.

My eldest has been in high-hormones, mood swings, body changes for awhile now, and now my second daughter is RIGHT behind her...

My second daughter has reached what I unflatteringly call "The Brain Dead Stage". It's the stage where the hormones and changes are really kicking into high gear and my children, who are incredible kids, tend to do a lot of... Well, dumb things. It's really tough on me... but more tough on them!

My second daughter has always been an incredibly bright child. I've often treated her older than her age because so often she acts older and more mature. Going through this phase has been incredibly frustrating to me.

My normally brilliant child can't remember direction or directly does the opposite of every direction I give. She no longer seems to be able to figure out normal, simple tasks that ar…

We moved into this house 8 years ago and my chronic pain health problems began 7 years ago. I also had three baby boys in that seven year period, so I'm behind on a lot. On like, everything. There isn't one direction I could look in my house or property and feel like I don't need to do something to improve it. That is just incredibly overwhelming, but not uncommon, I know. A lot of people feel this way.

A few months ago a friend challenged me to not look at myself as being behind, but to look at it like "this is just where I am right now". It was a good challenge, but I've been forgetting to do it lately. I've actually been battling a bit of depression about it, too.

Monday, I decided to stop dwelling on this and do something about it. After breakfast, I declared to the kids that it was going to be a Catchup Day. I told them they could still earn their school marbles as long as they worked hard to help me catchup. Basically, they did all their normal chores…

"Don't talk to stranger!"

I remember this caution being given to me as a child and one I've gave my children, as well, when they were younger.

Now, I encourage talking to strangers! LOL.

I want my children and I to be a presence of light and love in the world and I think talking to strangers is a great way to do that.

The other day the kids and I were at this tiny little park. I was doing school with my oldest, and my two youngest were playing on the play structure. It was only us there when a white SUV pulled up.

Out hopped a mom and her three kids and they joined us on the playground... What to do now? Social distancing? Play with them? I looked on as my younger two just stared at the newcomers.

I encouraged them to say "hi" and introduce themselves but they didn't. Finally, the mom said "hi" to my staring kids and they loosened up. She turned towards me as well, a few yards off, and gave a quick hi and how she's tired of the coronavirus. I ag…

My husband took a picture of my baby and I last weekend, when we were on our camping trip. A few days ago he posted it on facebook. Do you know what my first thought was?

You probably do...you've probably had the same thought...I'm willing to bet most women have...

"Man, I look terrible."

I didn't look at the adoring way that my son was smiling at me. I didn't look at the pure mama-joy on my own face. I looked at the extra pounds and I wanted to cry.


I'm crying now as I write this, because this isn't the way I should feel about a picture of my son and I. And this isn't the way you should feel about yourself, either, mama.

Is it healthy for me to have this extra weight? Not at all. Do I need to get healthier? I surely do (and I've lost ten pounds this past month by eating better, yay!). But that is beside the point.

The point is, I should look at that picture and remember the time that my son looked lovingly in my eyes and laughed at what I was sayin…

We had the most beautiful evening the other day. It was actually a pretty wonderful day too. Of course there were struggles and behaviors and all the normal stuff of mommy life, but the moments were beautiful.

The moment of planting some flowers in pots outside with my eldest. Getting to go the park with a friend. Walking with my husband after he got off work. 

I made dinner after our walk (new recipe) and it was really good. We all sat at the table and chatted. After the dinner clean up was finished, we ended up having an HOUR of "free time", which never happens. It's been a long time since it wasn't just "It's bedtime, get in bed!". The stress of all the coronavirus has increased the stress of evenings and bedtimes. We are often on edge getting the kids to bed and the time has been less than enjoyable.

But this night, it was perfect. My eldest worked on her reading app on the ipad in my room. I played blocks with the baby and periodically checked up on m…

Awhile ago, pre-lockdown, I had a dear friend of mine drop off her sweet babies at my house to go shopping.

When she came back to pick up her kids, she had another friend with her and I felt jealous for a moment. Jealous that I wasn't the friend that got to go out and shop with her...
I'm a homeschool mom. I will never be the mom that can go out and get a quick cup of coffee while my kids are in school. I will never be the mom to go out shopping without the kids. I have my kids all. the. time...
But here's the thing. 
It is a sacrifice. A sacrifice I feel personally called to. A calling I have seen intense blessings come as a result of. 
I was talking to my husband about this as I bemoaned the fact that my eldest daughter is no longer just my little girl. That's she's growing into a women. As emotional as that makes me, I thought of the sacrifice I make to be at home, teaching her each day. I thought about the life lessons I'm instilling in her.
SO WORTH IT!
My daught…