It's a Phase

I'm groggy this morning... The baby is not sleeping.

Just two weeks ago he slept through the night in his own bed, woke up, talked to himself, and went back to sleep with no help...

Yet, last night he woke up over and over yelling and crying unconsolably. Teething? Yes. Growth spurt? I don't know. Cold? Yes, his nose is running. "It's just a phase." As Mandy said in the For The New Mom blog, "This too shall pass." And it will, but in the moment, in the "I'm exhausted and drained", it's hard to feel like it will. 

Personally, I start with self doubt. Am I doing something wrong? Did we create a monster by always helping him sleep when he can't? What about sleep training? Then I go back to truth. This is a phase. He is in pain and doesn't feel good. It's a gift that I and my husband get to be the ones comforting and loving him through this. He will sleep again! I will sleep again! It will be okay. It's a phase.

Why is it so hard for me to remember that when parenting gets hard? Truthfully, I get tunnel vision... It feel like "this is it and I'm stuck." The fatigue sets in, which, I don't know about you, but for me does nothing good for my mood or outlook on life. "It's a phase" is encouraging to me. It means it's only for a time. It's not forever despite how I might feel. It means things will get better.

It makes me feel a little silly to say but I have had to relearn this lesson over and over. Every time my daughters go through a new phase I still go "Oh no! What am I doing wrong?" and it feels like it will last forever. 

Our kids are constantly growing and changing. Despite how long a phase may last, it's just a small moment in compared to all that is being acomplished. Our kids are growing up. They'll be adults before we know it. The time does go by quickly. Despite this phase feeling like an eternity, before long I'll look back and remember it and smile. "It was just a phase." 

Dear Mom, when your disscouraged and feeling like this difficult place in parenting will last forever, remember it's just for a time. This too will pass. Find things you can enjoy with your kids in every phase and stage. Remember your bigger goal of raising healthy, loving, responsible adults. One step at a time. Hold your baby when he's not feeling good, give grace to your preteen whose whole world is changing along with her body. Give grace to yourself, this is hard, but your doing great. Keep up the good work!


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