Just Like Me
Are you a fellow Trekkie?
For those of you who don’t
know what that is, it is someone who is a fan of Star Trek. I don’t dress up in
costumes and go to conventions, but I’ve always enjoyed Gene Roddenberry’s Star
Trek universes. It’s the fantasy and the fun characters that get me. Now, if
you are not a fan of sci-fi, please don’t stop reading! I’m going to talk about
an episode that I think can speak to a lot of we mothers.
The episode
I’m talking about it called “Lineage” (Star Trek: Voyager, S7 E1, you can find
it on Netflix or Prime Video), and it makes me cry every time (even when I’m
not pregnant and super hormonal!). This episode is about B'Elanna
Torres, who has newly found that she and her husband are going to have a baby. This
is a surprise for her, because she is half Klingon and her husband is human and
supposedly it is hard for those species to have a baby together (although
B’Elanna is also half human herself). If you don’t know what a Klingon is, they
are a violent alien race who pride themselves on their warrior skills and
honor. They also have quite a temper.
B’Elanna is happy to find that she is going to have a
baby…until she sees a projection of what her child will look like and finds
that her daughter will have some dominate Klingon traits. The episode is full
of flashbacks that show how difficult being half Klingon made life for B’Elanna
when she was growing up. She doesn’t want her child to have those same
difficulties, so she goes to drastic measures and unethically tries to have her
daughter’s DNA resequenced to eliminate the Klingon genetics (because its
sci-fi, and they can do that).
I think all we mamas can relate to wanting our child to
have a better life than we had. We don’t want them to have to struggle with the
same issues that we did. Of course we want to keep them safe and healthy, and
if your came from an abusive or neglectful environment, of course you are going
to do your best to make sure that never happens to them. But that’s not really
the kind of struggle I’m talking about. I’m referring to the more natural
struggles that all human beings deal with.
Do you have a mini me? I do. Not only is she the child
that looks the most like me, but she also struggles with the same things that I
did when growing up (and still do, sometimes!): feeling like I’m not good
enough, frustrated when things don’t go just as planned, poor self-image,
impatience, ect.
It is really hard to see her feeling these feelings that
I remember feeling so vividly. I so wish I could take them all away for her.
But what if our children’s struggles are a good thing?
Do you know that if a baby chick is aided in pecking its
way out of the egg, it will die? That pecking motion that they do is what
kickstarts their lungs so they are able to breathe after they reach the open
air. Mama hens know that struggle is good for their kids, why is it so hard for
we human mamas to get it?
Of course we are here to comfort and advise our children
as they go through tough times, but would we really want to take their trials
away from them? Would they really be able to grow if we did that? Think about
how you have grown through the trials and tribulations of your life.
My
brothers and sisters, you will face all kinds of trouble. When you do, think of
it as pure joy. Your faith will be tested. You know that when this happens
it will produce in you the strength to continue. And you must allow this
strength to finish its work. Then you will be all you should be. You will have
everything you need.
James
1:2-4 (NIRV)
Of course, it was awful that B’Elanna Torres was
treated like an outsider when she was child, but that wasn’t because of who she
was, it was a reflection on the people who were treating her poorly. And
changing her daughters DNA would not change that fact that everyone has
troubles and obstacles to overcome in their life.
The end of the episode is the part that really
gets me (I’m tearing up just thinking about it!). It’s when B’Elanna’s husband
takes her by the shoulders and looks her in the eyes and tells her that he
hopes their little girl grows up to be just like her mother. He talks about the
good traits she has, how strong and resilient she is.
When he looked at his wife, he saw the good
and strong in her. It challenges me to do the same thing when I look at my
mini-me.
She is a nurturer, she’s creative, she is
hardworking, and she loves to laugh. Just like her mama.
![]() |
Though there is an obvious size difference, even our hands and feet look like they could belong to the same person. |
I just want to challenge you mamas (and
myself!) to focus on the good in your children. Don’t think, “Oh man, that
child is just like me!” in a negative way. Think it in a positive way! And be
thankful that you have the experience and empathy to help that mini-me through
their tough times.
Blessings to you and your minis,
Lee
This struggle truly plays out in so many ways. Thank you for illuminating the benefits of allowing ourselves and our loved ones the chance to grow.
ReplyDeleteNice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks for your comment!
Delete