"Bad Baby"

You know something that I don’t like about having a new baby? It’s the “Good baby” question. There you are, proudly showing your baby off to a family member or friend, and then they have to ask “Is he a good baby? Is he letting you sleep through the night? Does he take good naps?”

What is your answer going to be? Can’t they tell the answer to that question by the bags under your eyes and the mom bun on your head? A few babies fit this description, but most babies want to be held a LOT, and want to be fed a LOT, and many fuss a LOT. They are adapting to a new world, what do you expect? But what are you going to say?

“No, I think this one is broken. He will only sleep if he is in my arms. We are considering sending him back.”

“No, but I think I qualify as a good baby because I would gladly sleep through the night and take frequent naps. If only this ‘bad baby’ would let me!”

I think so many people don’t realize that the adjustment phase of a newborn to a whole new world lasts longer than the trip through the birth canal. The idea that there is a Fourth Trimester for babies is totally foreign to them. They expect a child to transition flawlessly from an environment that is warm, constantly nourishing, pain free, low light, where they are constantly being held, and is filled with the sounds of their mother’s heartbeat (which they have known as long as they have been able to hear) to another environment that is totally different. The only thing that isn’t new in this environment is their mother. 

So can you blame them if they want to be held up against that heartbeat, in those warm arms, to be nourished often, and to snuggle into the darkness against mama’s warm chest? 

Maybe your Fourth Trimester is lasting a looooooong time. It happens. It’s not because you have a “bad baby”. It’s not because you are doing something wrong. It’s because he IS a baby. 

This is my response to people’s “good baby” question: “He’s a baby. He’s good at doing what babies do.”

Because that is just life. Babies are babies. And when they grow we miss them being babies. So enjoy your little “bad baby” to your heart's fullest capacity. Every blurry-eyed, waking moment of it.



  1. I love this, and I love your actual response to the question - I wish I'd had that response ready in the newborn days!

  2. This is WONDERFUL Lee!! :D So true! Such a good response. I want to share this with everyone I know! You're amazing. When is baby due?


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