I'm The Mold-Breaker

I'm the mold-breaker in my family.

I have mixed feelings about that.

I was raised in a close-knit, conservative family. With my parents both struggling with depression, my siblings and I were each other's everything, making us even closer.

But I broke the mold... I never intended to, but I always knew I was made for more; that I had a different calling on my life.

I was the first to have a boyfriend (at age 17).
I was the only one to get a tattoo.
I was the only one who lived overseas as a missionary.
Those seem pretty insignificant, don't they? But those were all a BIG deal to me and my family.

I stepped out and trusted God in strange ways. I committed to my daughters, to be "Mom" and everybody thought I was a little crazy.
My parents were very worried when I got engaged to their dad and there was a lot of difficult back-and-forth conversations. 

I am the only one who conceived with help of fertility treatments. 

I am the mold-breaker in my family.

It's not a fun position. With breaking molds comes tension, comes misunderstandings. If one family member grows in different ways from the other, there is sometimes separation.

I sat outside this morning, spilling my emotions and thoughts out to God. "I wish I wasn't the mold-breaker" I said aloud. "I wish I wasn't the one to change."

Then that Heart voice/thought came back:

"If I wasn't a mold breaker I wouldn't be the women I am today. 
If I wasn't a mold breaker I wouldn't have my children!
If I wasn't a mold breaker I wouldn't be the mom I am."

Being a mold-breaker is not easy or fun. It often comes with loneliness and rejection BUT there is lots of freedom and beauty in living passionate and free. For me, that's following Jesus with abandon, even when it doesn't make sense to others. Even when it's not popular. 

Being a mold-breaker IS worth it because it means I'm making a difference. It means I get to take the beautiful parts about my upbringing and pour them into my family and leave the parts that didn't work so well. It means I get to always learn and grow, that there is no limit. It means I have the freedom to follow my Jesus wherever He takes me and KNOW it's going to good!

Dear Mama,

Don't be afraid to change the way you parent or live because others don't always get it. Different is not bad and often it can be really beautiful!

A Bible verse I love: "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves." -2nd Corinthians 4:7

Much love,



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