A Challenging Phase
One of my kids is going through a tough phase right now.
|This boy has always been my "heart beat baby". |
When he was newborn, he wouldn't sleep unless he could hear my heart.
He is five, and he is a real thinker, and I think part of the reason he is going through the phase is because he realizes that life and our family is going to be changing soon with the new baby coming. My second was like that. She was almost three when her baby brother was born, and she went through all the typical toddler reactions to a new baby (acting out, potty training regression, ect) before he was born instead of after. On one hand, it’s nice to get it over with before the baby actually comes. On the other hand, its hard to deal with when you are already dealing with the challenges and hormones of late pregnancy. But when is it ever convenient to handle your child’s difficult phase?
Tonight I was awakened by a nightmare. I dreamed that my son had acted out and, instead of dealing with it the right way, I hauled off and slapped him as hard as I could. The look of shock and utter betrayal on his face was enough to wake me up, nearly send me to tears, and keep me from going back to sleep. Instead I got up and went to his bedside and prayed for him. He looked so peaceful and beautiful laying there, like he didn’t have a care or trouble in the world. It was calming to just look at him for a while. That dream goes to show how upsetting this phase has been for me, I never want to slap that boy!
Parenting is such a balancing act, isn’t it? This is one adage that rings true in my life, anyway. We want to give our children grace and understanding, but we also need to give them discipline. We want them to know that they are loved and cared for, that we don’t expect them to be perfect (because they can’t be, no one can), however, they also can’t get away with being rude or disobedient, either. I can see the triggers for my son’s behavior and understand it, but I also can’t ignore his negative reactions. It’s my job to guide him by showing him the correct way to respond to the situation that is upsetting him. It’s not an easy job!
He is a little guy that has a hard time looking at the positive side of things, and I’m trying hard to help him with that. I know it’s a skill that will be an advantage to him the rest of his life. Because life is always going to throw us things that are unexpected and/or hard to deal with.
I’m trying to rewire my brain into rejoicing in the fact that my son is going through a phase right now, because phases lead to growth. I wouldn’t want him to stay in the same place forever. Seasons come and seasons go, change and growth has to happen. I really could use prayer for wisdom on how to best help him, though!
What phase(s) are you dealing with right now?
Whatever it is, you can do it, mama! You are the woman that God chose for this child, and He doesn’t make mistakes. We stumble and fumble and make blunders, but we are trying our best, and God knows that. You are gonna be ok, and so is your kid!
God bless you!