Fear...

What are you afraid of? 

As mamas, because we have so much responsibility, it seems like there are a lot of things to be anxious about. 

Is my child developing properly? If not, is it something that I did/am doing wrong? Could something happen to my child? Should I be following these parenting tactics or this other method? What if…?????

We could drive ourselves crazy! And often do.

I personally have been fighting anxiety on two main issues lately. The first is the upcoming birth of my son (I’m 38 weeks pregnant now!). I’ve had four beautiful births in my history (well, one was especially challenging, but still beautiful), all without pain relief. The last one I had a fully opened hernia and a partially opened hernia, so I know I can deal with a lot of pain. But I’m still a bit afraid of the pain that I’m going to feel from my injuries during this birth, especially as the baby gets lower and lower and during pushing. I’ve talked to my midwife about how I can support these areas of injury during the last parts of labor, and that helps some. For the rest I am depending on this verse:

The second issue that I am struggling with is that my 5 year old has inherited my “hernia genes”. Yes, the little guy has a hernia as well! It’s so sad and frustrating that it has passed down to him, but there is nothing I can do about it. His hernia has not been causing him pain until recently, which means it must be opening up more. There is no natural way to fix a hernia, he will have to have surgery sooner or later. The thought of my son going under the knife is rather distressing. Especially when I’ve been dealing with the pain of hernia surgery complications for the past 3 years!

Being afraid for yourself is one thing, but being afraid for your child is even harder. I’m going to have to depend on that verse again... 

Because I’m not in charge. There is only so much I can do. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and no amount of worrying about it is going to change anything. I believe in the power of prayer, I believe in filling your mind with good and true things, and these are important, but in the end, we really just have to see what happens and figure out how to respond to it when it does. 

So, for this Fourth of July holiday, I am wishing for you (and myself!) freedom from worry and anxiety over things we cannot control. I hope you are able to enjoy your day in spite of the heavy subjects that may be trying to hang over you. 

You are strong. You will make it, no matter what happens. Don’t fill your thoughts with all the “What if…”s. Try to focus on what is good and true and deal with the rest when it comes. 

Blessings!

Lee