I Couldn't Sleep Last Night!

I couldn't sleep last night.

I'd gone to bed at a reasonable hour, I had winded down like normal, but as I lay there in my bed, all I could feel was my heart racing. My heart raced and my head flooded with thoughts. Every. Thought. About everything! The week ahead, scheduled stuff, decisions to make, relational things, my babies birthday party details, and on and on and on! Things that should not be a huge point of concern were, at 10:30 at night, blazing through my brain, unstoppable.

"You have to do this! You have to do it all!" The thoughts came as the mental list continued to scroll and my chest continued to constrict. "So much to do! Too much to do! What do I do?!" Heart thudding... It had been 20 minutes of laying there in the dark with my worry and anxieties and my GIANT, overwhelming list.

I knew sleep was not going to come unless I first dealt with my internal struggle and worked through the thoughts. So I crawled quietly out of bed, as to not wake my husband, silently opened the dresser drawer that holds my big notepad and pens, blindly felt inside the drawer for what I needed, and went out to the living room.

On went the light, down I sat on our blue couch, feet up on the coffee table, notepad propped up on my knees. Out came the thick, black pen and down the thoughts went. FIFTY-ONE times I wrote a quick sentence containing one thought, one worry, one sadness, one plan. Fifty-one! I covered both sides of the large notepad page. Phew! SO much. I knew I was stressed. I knew I had a lot of things on my plate. I knew I was feeling the weight of it all... but fifty one thoughts, obligations, and concerns!!!

I felt affirmed as I understood more fully WHY I was feeling so anxious, and the pressure in my chest loosened slightly, but the pounding of my heart continued as I looked down at my list. Now what? WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THIS GIANT LIST?!

I went back to that 51 items. After each sentence, line, to-do list point I drew an arrow ---> and then wrote in caps "SKIP", "DO", "BUY", "NOT NOW", "YES", "NO", "PRAY" or "DON'T WORRY", indicating what I decided to do with all the things on my list. Thankfully, 21 items on my list immediately got put in the SKIP or PRAY pile and those things I could let go. The rest I divided up by day. Forming a reasonable expectations for what, when, and how to accomplish it.

I then put my "Tomorrow"s list by the door, with a game plan for the day, and went back to bed. I felt relaxed and I had hope that I could accomplish what I NEEDED to the next day. The overwhelmed feeling of having so much I "had" to do went away and I slept good for the rest of the night.

Learning to do what is needed and laying aside the rest is hard. Letting that expectation that we have to do it all can be really tough but here's the thing: We not only don't have to do it all, we can't! There's simply not enough hours in the day.

Dear Mama, first off, know you are doing a great job! Know we all get overwhelmed with the amount we are juggling, doing, caring about, and accomplishing. When your feeling overwhelmed or anxious try taking a little inventory on what you have put on your list and look at what needs to be there and what can go.

Much love,

You might also like:

Don't forget to SHARE!


Recent Posts

Recent Posts Widget