Preteen TENSION intention

Preteen, tween, teenybopper... is that one of the words? I don't even know. Transition to teenagehood... Yeah, whatever it's called, it is TOUGH on everyone! My daughter is 11 and we are definitely in the thick of it.

It's tough on Dad, his girl is turning into a women, growing a chest, likes boys, it's hard to realize your girl is changing!

It's hard on Mom, my baby is no longer a baby! She's pushing back against everything I say and do. She is testing all the limits, AGAIN. It is a rough and emotional roller coaster.

It's hard on siblings, their happy playmate is now an unknown wildcard a lot of the time and they never know what her response is going to be anymore.

It's hard on her, my preteen! Everything is changing so fast and she has to get used to herself as a growing lady instead of a young girl.

The preteen stage is no joke. Sometimes we all just want to SCREAM! Sometimes we all DO just scream! It's a time of tension and transition. 

As I was bemoaning the fact that this is SO difficult and while I scrambled to find more skills at how to cope with the upheaval I realized something pretty awesome... Well, it was awesome to me. I like knowing the purpose in things, because sometimes the rough stuff just feels rough and pointless!! 

Preteen tension IS intentional! It's not pointless, it's not just to make us, and themselves, miserable. There is a healthy, normal, natural process that is taking place. 

As my child changes from a young child into a preteen, then teen, she is reaching towards adulthood. This is ADULT TRAINING! It's an important place to still press in close as a parent, with love and intention regardless of how they react, but ALSO let go in the areas where you can and give the reins to your children. Guide them, give them age-appropriate responsibilities, have their privileges hinge on their choices. Let them make mistakes and learn NOW while the consequences are small in comparison to adulthood.

The tension is intentional. It's part of our children's struggle out of their caterpillar stage, into a cocoon, and into a butterfly (so to speak). The tension is apart of the growth... Also, I think it really helps us as parents, because if there wasn't tension I would never want my baby to grow up. The tension, though difficult, is a gift in disguise. It's a part of the plan to help our children reach independent adulthood.




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