They WANT boundaries

As always, I'm going to be vulnerable and share how things really are around here. This is a judgement-free zone and I guess I should extend that same grace to myself as I share all these real, authentic things.

So training and giving consequence and helping our kids learn is a very intricate part of parenting and motherhood. I don't like it! I feel like no one probably "likes" it but I feel like some parents are better at it than others. 

I thought I'd be good at being a consistent-with-discipline parent. I thought I'd be systematic and fair... But in reality, I don't think that describes me well. When I was a nanny, a babysitter, or a preschool teacher I think that "fun and structured" would have been a honest description of myself but as a Mom... nope!

I tend to waver. I'm a pretty all or nothing person and I tend to struggle to find a happy medium. When it comes to correcting and teaching my children it looks something like this: 

I recognize that my children seem unusually disrespectful. That they only follow instructions after my third or fourth attempt to get them to do it, and usually when I'm frustrated or yelling that's when they'll respond.
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I usually always end of yelling as my parenting motivation and I HATE YELLING. I find I'm incredibly stupid when I yell and yelling doesn't promote the type of emotionally safe home environment I want for my children, or myself! 

So after I notice I'm yelling to motivate my children, I realize I'm not giving consequences and that's what I need to be doing. So I tighten up on giving simple consequences for every disobedience and insist on respectful response and WA-LA, everyone is happy again! The kids are happy. I'm not yelling. I'm happy. The home in a happy and peaceful place.
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I was talking to a friend and fellow Mama about this and she told me "Discipline is not an interruption of your love, it's an extension of love." I feel like I'm being more loving when I give my kids lots of slack but in reality my kids WANT boundaries. They want me to have enough love for them to do the hard work of giving them a consequence, talking through their behavior and finding solutions with them. They WANT me to be the one in charge because when I'm in charge they are safe and cared for. 

So I wanted to encourage you Mama. Your loving correction of your child provides safety to your children. Giving reasonable consequences and being consistent help your children learn and grow. It gives them the security and structure while so much love.




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