The Enemy of Connection

Busy, the enemy of connection.

Is your schedule getting in the way of your relationships?

My family and I got away this weekend. We went camping! It's one of our favorite things to do together. We love being out doors, we love sitting around the campfire, making food on the grill, playing cards instead of watching TV, going on walks, and exploring. 

We love everything about camping.

Baby's first time in a tent.

We started out this camping trip STRESSED OUT and drained. I've been working way too much and way too hard and not taking any time for rest. My husband has been working way too hard and way too much and not taking any time for the things he finds restful. We've just been in a tornado of "busy"... 

I hate being busy. Yes, I like the feeling of being busy in the sense of feeling accomplished and productive but true busyness I really don't like. I get anxiety when I'm too busy. I feel disconnected when I'm busy. And, sadly, and most importantly, I neglect relationships when I'm busy.

My kids get pushed aside while I try to accomplish all that I've over committed to. My husband gets more added to his responsibilities as I add my busyness to his already high pile of to-dos. We all suffer when busy becomes the way we are walking through our days.

Sure, we might take time out to go swimming at the river, or go for a quick walk, but as soon as we return home the weight of all the things on our list returns, and I'm back to being a stressed-out, busy mom...

So we went camping. 

No list!

No dishes!

No house cleaning!

No appointments.

No to-do list.

Just a tent, a fire, the cooler, and our kids.

The first thing I realized, to my dismay, is how poor a job my husband and I have been doing connecting with each other and our kids. We've been busy instead. As we sat around the fire and the kids (minus the baby) biked around the loop my husband and I got to connect and I got to hear how he really was doing.

The second thing I came to realize while camping, is where my kids are at emotionally. I try to pay great attention to my children but the busy had stolen my focus and I hadn't seen fully what they were struggling with and why.

It sounds like I learned a lot of heavy stuff, but, truly, we really had a fantastic time! The baby LOVED camping, being outside and all the things to play with on the ground. Our girls LOVE camping, biking around, playing on the beach, and hiking. We LOVE camping, getting to sit and talk, walk together, watch our kids play without the pressure and weight of all the busy...

Busy, it's the enemy of connection. When I'm busy I don't take that moment to sit on the floor and play blocks with my son... and even if I do take that moment I'm thinking of when I can get back to work. Busy. It steals my joy in the times I get to connect with my daughters because I'm always thinking of the next thing that needs to be done. Busy, steals my love and compassion for my husband. I don't hear him when I'm busy and I don't prioritize him first...

Dear Mamas, we all get busy, but when that busyness comes, evaluate it. Are you missing out on what you want most? Is your schedule matching your priorities and goals or is it taking away from them? Prioritize rest, prioritize connection, don't miss out on your beautiful family, your beautiful babies. This time is short. Focus in and enjoy this wonderful (and challenging) time.

Much love,

-Joy