An UNEXPECTED Resolution -My New Year's Goal

Happy New Year Dear Wonderful Mother!
Photo Credit: neurohacker.com

Today, I was planning on sharing with you all my New Year's Goals but I decided I want to share with you something more important, my MOTHERHOOD Goals. I had written down a few such as:

-Treasure the time with my growing daughters
-Find contentment in what I can do in this season with a toddler

And those are good ones and I fully want to work towards them. However, as I stood in church on Sunday something else came to mind, something more vague and difficult to pin down in goal form.

The worship leader was talking about ending this year well. To put things to rest that need to be, to walk into the new year well. Then there was a time of prayer. I had a nagging feeling in my heart that I needed help, that I had something to lay down, but I didn't know what.

"Mom guilt" came to mind, "Comparisons" and the word "Grace". Okay? How do I make a New Year's Goal out of that?

To let go of the Mom guilt...
Photo Credit: myholistictherapy.org

To let go of fighting with the season I am in. To let go of not being a perfect mom. To let go of the fears I have about my children's weaknesses and how that will effect their success. To let go of trying to do it all. To let go of my failures, mistakes, and short comings. To let go of my mom guilt.

I did participate in the time of prayer and I thought and prayed more as I returned to my seat, but it wasn't till I was talking to my husband after church that I put it all together.

Mom guilt, for me, is wrong.
It's saying that I am the end all, be all. That in a way I'm God to my children. That I can save them from the sin they have and the struggles they face. That I'm it! That everything rests on my shoulders and that I'm the savior of my children.

Sounds arrogant when I put it that way, doesn't it?

At the core of my mom guilt is the fact I can't do everything for my children, that I can't make it all better, and that I can't insure their success. That makes me sad. That makes me feel guilty. That makes me want to do things that are more than I should be taking on in an effort to be a perfect parent.

Now, I assure you, I will always be striving to be a better parent, to love my children well, and fulfill their needs. But this year, 2020, I'm going to strive to let go of the guilt that comes from being just me, just human, just learning along the way. I want to let go of that guilt because it doesn't help me succeed! It doesn't make me a better mom!

Let me say that again:


Mom guilt does NOT make us better mothers.
It actually hinders us in our efforts to be better mothers.
Mom guilt steals our joy and lessens our impact.

I want to encourage you, dear Mama, as I need to hear it myself, to be brave, to be courageous, to live free and let go of the guilt. Let go of the idea that we can do it all and be it all for our kids. Our children will grow up, they will mature, they will make mistakes and the best thing we can do for them is to be gracious, loving, and steadfast. To teach them that mistakes and failures are not a point of shame but a way to learn and grow.

I love you all,
Happy New Year,
-Joy

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