Quite a few months ago I heard an idea that was rather freeing for me. I was listening to a podcast and the speaker was a lady with a large family. She was talking about how one of the biggest arguments that people have against large families is: "You wont have enough attention for each child and your children will grow up feeling they were ignored." The speaker was countering this argument by saying that you don't need to constantly be stressing about giving each child their daily allotment of attention and making sure it is all equal. Instead, what you should be on the lookout for is creating special moments with each child. MOMents.

I love this idea! It felt like it was a huge stress reliever, like an expectation that was way too big and guilt-inducing was just lifted off my shoulders. Checking off a box of spending a certain amount of time with each child was overwhelming; making sure I sneak in special MOMents with each child, that was something I could do.

I think this idea applies to every mom, whether you have 1 or 15 kids. We can really bog ourselves down with the mom guilt of all the things we weren't able to do with our kids. Especially if one child is in a more needy stage (babyhood, toddler temper tantrums, preteen hormonal craziness, you get the idea) and we feel like we spend most of the day focusing on that one child for that season. We could stress and feel guilty about that. Or we can strive to have MOMents.

It can be as simple as asking your 6 year old to bring two lightsabers into the kitchen and dueling in between flipping pancakes. You only need one hand to sword fight, right?

Or putting the baby on the floor to play and, instead of heading right into doing a chore while your hands are free, instead use them to wrap around your 11 year old for a quick snuggle and chat.

The other day my hubby put the baby to nap and I was able to spend an entire hour and a half out in the greenhouse with my 4 year old. The other kids were busy playing and he wandered out to me and I invited him to help me move some things around and transplant and start some seeds. It was so enjoyable! He was poking all kinds of crazy seeds everywhere (it will be fun to see what comes up). After we were done, he asked me if we could walk to the end of our road and look at the ocean. We did, and as we were doing it he smiled at me mischievously and said, "They don't even know we are doing this." He was talking about his siblings. He couldn't tell me plainly how much this time together meant to him, but he did convey it with that sentence.

It wasn't a fancy, planned out event. I simply found some free time and he found me, and we created a special memory. That's what MOMents are all about.

The little things. The precious times together. Some are scheduled and elaborate. Some are spur of the moment and sandwiched in between chores and more chores. All help build your bond with your child and make them think "That is what I loved about my childhood" when they are grown. And they are what you will treasure in your heart forever.

With the Shelter in Place order going on right now, we have even more opportunities to create MOMents with our kids. There's nothing else to do and nowhere else to be! Take advantage of this time, mama. We all know how fast they grow, we need to sneak is as many MOMents with them as we can.

Lots of love,


  1. BEAUTIFUL! I struggle with that mom guilt too of spending time with my kids unevenly. I will have to try to think about it differently, about those MOMents.


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