The Ugly Truth

Since I was a young girl, I have deeply cared about doing the right thing.

When I was about five years old, I prayed that Jesus would forgive me and live in my heart. The next few months I was SO careful to not lie (because I wanted to make Jesus happy) that I would only answer "maybe" to any and every question. I didn't want to say "yes" and not be able to do it and it be a lie. (True story and I drove my family nuts!)

That carefulness to do what was right continued into adulthood as I intentionally lived in a way that I felt was pleasing to the Lord. As my relationship with Jesus grew, the more my pleasing Him became less out of fear of doing something wrong and more from freedom of knowing I am loved, He is good, and His ways are best.

But here's the ugly truth.

With all my carefulness and caution in life to do what is right. With all my deliberately trying to be the best I could be, I've always had bad thoughts, temptations, and little voices that prompt me to wonder if there's something wrong with me.
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When I have a bad thought, I immediately feel bad about myself. Then I condemn myself for even having that kind of thought... And then I realize I am not that thought! That ugly thought or image in my mind is not me and I choose not to act on it in any way. I don't relate to it. I don't indulge it and I challenge it as a fraud, because that's what it is.

I'm not my ugly thoughts. I'm not my mean idea. I am not any of those things.

How do I know that for sure?

Because when I have good thoughts, kind thoughts, compassionate thoughts, righteous and brave thoughts I do them, because that is who I am.

In motherhood (especially during times of great stress) we can have ugly thoughts about ourselves, our children, and our lives. We can desire to do things we are not proud of or say things we will regret. I know I certainly have had a lot of these moments in the last month, and some of them I've done and had to apologize for. But the ugly thoughts are just that, ugly thoughts.

When thoughts that are ugly, mean, or condemning come into your head, CHALLENGE THEM. Call them out as a lie. Remember who you are, what your fighting for, and that you are always making a difference!

Much love,


  1. “We are not our ugly thoughts”, I love that! A great reminder.


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