Showing posts from August, 2020

I Can't Do This!

Let me say it again: living on planet earth is hard. And being a mama is hard. Don't get me wrong, hard is not the same thing as bad . I'm not saying that mothering is a miserable profession or that I'm depressed by the trials of this life. I'm just saying: it's not easy! Right now, my baby pretty much wants to be attached to me non-stop. We are sure he has Roseola because our friend's little boy had it. And he is working on his first set of molars at the same time. Fun stuff...  Earlier this week, while I was trying to get my feverish, fussy baby to actually sleep on his own, my boys let the dog out to roam the neighborhood. She got picked up and taken to the pound. But it was just before the pound closed for the day that it happened, so I spent the whole night (and I was up a lot with the baby) worrying about her. I even had nightmares about it. I knew that if she was taken to the pound we would have to bail her out, and that wasn't in this month's bu


Well, that was major mom fail! We just had a giant blow up! A stupid move on my part, followed by a stupid move on my child's part, followed by another stupid move for me, followed by mass explosion from EVERYONE (minus the baby). It was bad. Then I had a meltdown, my child had a meltdown, and my husband went to take a break. Things were talked through over the next hour as emotions ran high and we all felt bad. In the end we all came up with ways we could do better next time a situation like that came along, prayed, said sorry, and went to bed. Right after everyone got in bed, I stood at my bathroom counter getting ready for bed myself I thought about how imperfect we are as parent. How I want so bad  to be the perfect parent but I just can't! It makes my heart sad that I can't always be the parent I want to be, heck, I'm not usually  the parent I want to be. Then the words of my sweet uncle drifted back into my head from several years ago when we were talkin

I'm Changing My Mind

"Mommy, what does stagnant mean?" My four year old asked me this question after I told him not to play in the icky pool of water near the swimming hole. I explained to him how when there is no movement of water, no change, nasty things grow and the water is gross.  It got me thinking about some things that I have been working on lately.  A few weeks ago, I vacuumed out my car. In the past, this has been one of my most stressful chores. I spend the entire time being disgusted with my children. I am angry about how much food and garbage there is in the back seats. I swear to never let my kids eat in the car again and usually give them a good tongue lashing as well.  This time, though, I decided to take a different approach. Instead my thoughts were: "My car looks like this because I allow my children to eat in the car. They are little and can't keep things perfectly clean." "I need to talk to the boys about making sure their garbage gets put away. Maybe a lit

Should They Be Afraid?

Lee talked about the awareness being brought to sex trafficking in Monday's blog (read that HERE ). I too, as a mother of preteens, find this a tough topic to even think about, let alone digest any of the information without being sick and fearful. My daughters are beautiful, young, and innocent. They are carefree and safe when I am around, but they are growing up and I want to give them freedom to explore their neighborhood, make more friends and connection, and be more independent... But I also REALLY want them to be wise, discerning, and prepared for a world that will take advantage of them. I want them to be smart when it comes to trickery, manipulation, and dangerous situations. I've shared things about trafficking with my children, as well awareness about molestation and what to do if something happens to them. I've coached them on not staying in situations they feel uncomfortable in and to always tell an adult and so much more! I want my children to be awar

Only 'Cause I Love You

Goodwill thrift shop is my place. I love going to Goodwill and searching for finds. I grew up Thrift Shopping and my love for finding nice things at a fraction of the price hasn't changed. I took my middle child, my ten-year-old daughter, with me to Goodwill the other day and we were having a good time looking at shoes. She wanted some new shoes and I was handing her options when I came across these adorable, old-fashioned heels that would've been my dream shoes as a child. I handed them her way to try on "just for fun" and went off to look at baby clothes. Next thing I know I see my adorable girl clip-clopping her way across the store in the old-fashion heels I had handed her. Her face was alight as she somewhat awkwardly walked towards me. "I LOVE them!" She exclaimed and I smiled. "Can I have them, please?" She begged. I didn't say "no" right away, but she knew I wasn't on board. I hadn't even thought of buying th

Let Them Be Little

I watched something on Facebook last night that made me feel sick to my stomach. It was an old video of a drunk celebrity kissing a boy (he may have been 13-15 years old?). Not just kissing him once, kissing him several times. She had to be in her twenties. It made me so angry. If you are like me, all this news of sex trafficking and child pornography that has been sweeping social media sets your mama heart on fire. I just want to save all the babies. I want to wipe their pain away and bury them in a mama hug. I want to punish their predators...Boy, do I ever! photo from How could anyone ever hurt a child like this??? The thought is unfathomable. When I change my baby's dirty diaper and think that someone could see his little body as a turn on, I see RED. He is a sweet, innocent baby! And yet there are people out there abusing little children just like him every day. I feel like I could murder someone just thinking about it.  But th

The Ex-Pastor Story

I've been struggling lately... With the church and what exactly is "the church"? Photo Credit: We moved church about a year ago (please reread about that HERE ). Our previous church was larger with more to offer but despite all our efforts we didn't build true community. We chose something smaller, looking for that close-knit community, where we could love on others and do life together. It's been nearly a year and though it's way easier to meet people and know who everyone is in a small church, the same struggles seem to apply. Then, I listened to a Ex-Pastor's Story and things began to click (Watch that HERE ). I began understanding more about the church and the difference between going to church and personal relationship with Jesus. I even wondered if going to church on Sunday's was the best way to love and follow Jesus... I went to church this Sunday. I was exhausted. I didn't want to go and honestly,

I Wanted to Ship off my Kids...

...Hello fellow moms. Where to start? We're moving, as I shared with you on Friday, we are still in limbo as far as where we are moving to and  we had other stuff going on as well on top of the moving stress. Plus my kids... are DRIVING ME NUTS! I have two emotional preteens and a toddler... and it feels like I've been in this season of motherhood forever at this point, even though I know that's not true! I hear back talk, excuses, whining, fits, a million "no!"s every single day. I have to deal with bad attitudes, bickering, disobedience, nasty tones, and fights on a very regular basis. It's EXHAUSTING! Oh, and my son went on another nap strike so I was getting no time to rest on top of that. Photo Credit: So I started to brainstorm ideas... If my daughters could just go volunteer in the mornings and my son could go to preschool then maybe I wouldn't feel like this. MY son would love  preschool and my daughters love helping and

What To Do???

Do you have a To-Do List? If you are like me, you have a To-Do List about a mile long. To help myself focus, I recently started writing one on a little white board on my fridge every morning. I write down five goals and one bonus. It's rather satisfying to check each task off as I complete it. And if my day changes and I ended up doing other things, I can easily erase what I had planned to do and fill in what I had actually gotten done. It's like therapy to do this at the end of a day when I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. Last Wednesday, I had a rough day. I'm not going to go into details, and there were still some good moments and blessings throughout the day, but overall, it was pretty tough. I woke up Thursday super tense and with an enormous amount of work to do to make up for the day before...and a fussy baby (I think he is working on molars). Basically, if I wasn't holding the baby, he was crying and hanging onto my legs. I tried to hold it

We are moving!!!

Wow, it feels like a long time since we caught up! Last time I shared about moving, we WERE NOT going to move! (Read that post HERE ). So what has happened since then? A lot of back and forths, a lot of ups and downs, a lot of conversations and pros and cons; as well as my husband found his dream job over in the Carolinas, South Carolina to be exact. A job that he could do work he loves, woodworking, as well as a variety of other hands-on jobs which he loves! So he applied for this job and really  hoped he would get it. He came home and said "We need to put up our house now  so if I get the job we can be over there in time to start." WOAH! We were selling our home WITHOUT having a job or place to go to? Yep! Another leap of faith. You can't move forward without risk. You can't pursue your dreams without making sacrifices. So we put the house up for sale and that weekend we had a number of showings and we ended up with FOUR offers! We're are moving! We

You CAN Do It!

Ever feel a bit overwhelmed? I'm asking a bunch of mamas this question, so... I already know the answer. I'm just here to tell you today: It may not turn out exactly the way we want it to. It may be a little messy. But we CAN do whatever we need to do. We are a woman, and we are strong. Do you like home canned peaches? My family loves them and my mom always canned them as I was growing up, so I've always canned them for my family, too.  We wake up early and drive 2.5 hours to get to our favorite peach farm. Picking the peaches is always the easy part. The kids love being in the orchard. When we get back home and I see that stacks of boxes, that's when I start to freak out a little. This is how many we picked this trip, 153 lbs,  but three of the boxes went to my Mother-in-law. I get a little grouchy and panicked. What in the world was I thinking? How am I going to take care of this many peaches?  I think about all the steps required in canning. I thin

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