When You Hit a Wall
When you hit a wall...
My kids grow and change so fast that once something is "working", it only seems to work for a short period of time before I hit a wall. That can be in parenting, in schooling, with the chore schedule, daily schedule, you name it, it's happened. Things don't just keep going smoothly, at least not for long.
When I hit a wall... First, I usually get pretty frustrated. Why is this not working?! I think. What is the problem! And then I have to admit, I can't do this or This is not working and move on.
This happened just the other day with school. Though I had doing all the same things, asking questions vs telling, being patient vs frustrated, the results were certainly NOT the same.
Instead of mutually working towards the goal of getting through a lesson, I got straight annoyance and even anger at my "helpful" suggestions and instructions. By the end of the fifteen minutes of school my heart was pounding, I was frowning, and I was just as ticked as my kid had been with me over any instruction I gave her.
This is not working! I thought bitterly and feeling a little desperate as well. What am I supposed to do!? I wanted to help! I wanted to be there with her doing her lesson. I have always enjoyed this particular subject with my daughter so why had it gone so downhill?
I sent my daughter to do the independent portion of her lesson alone and she did it speedily and cheerfully. I was still a little peeved when I went to check on her but I was incredibly impressed.
So, I had hit a wall. What has worked for years, currently wasn't working any more. So, I had to let go. I handed her the book, explained what to do, and gave her supports and helps for it. She is now going to the do that subject on her own for the most part.
Mamas, we hit walls all. the. time. It's frustrating, annoying, and we work so hard to make things work well. But when we hit that wall, it just means it's time for a change. It's those walls, those struggles, that help us move forward and on to something new. It doesn't feel pleasant at the time but in the end, it's for the best.
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