Insecurities or Inexperience?
When I first became a mom, I was pretty insecure. I tried to be perfect. I tried to fit the role. I tried to present myself the same as other moms I saw around me (even limiting my style and how silly I was in public). I was insecure. People's comments really bothered me and it took some time to get over any insensitive or careless comment.
But as time went on, I grew. I grew as a mom. I knew my kids and what was good for them and I stopped trying to please so much. With time and experience it became more natural, more secure, and more full of life.
Now I have a baby and I get comments again. Unsolicited advice, comments on letting my child's desires matter to me, comparisons between parenting styles. And it's gets to me! I feel judged. I feel I have to explain or stand up for how I choose to take care of my baby. I got comments on how long I breastfed, comments for holding my baby "too much" when he cried, comments on letting him make decision (positive parenting type stuff), and so on.
It gets to me.
But what I realized the other day was, it's part of the journey. No, I don't need the comments or judgement. I don't enjoy it and it sometimes makes me doubt myself to were I actually parent in a negative way for awhile but I'll get over it. It's a journey and I will get to the point, same as I did with my daughters, where I'll have the experience of what to say and when to say it. What to let roll off my back and so on, but sloshing through figuring it out and building confidence is apart of any new adventure, including motherhood.
My encouragement to you moms, KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Trust your instincts and hold tight to what you know is right for you, your family, and your child, but even more than that, let's cheer on our fellow Mamas in their journey. As they figure out the new steps with each new child or each new stage. It ain't easy for any of us! Let's be cheerleaders for all our Mama friends, especially when they do things differently than us. We're all different and that is a beautiful thing.
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