It's Not What I Do
"Kind of" is an understatement. Especially for me. I'm usually a very active lady. The hardest part of my health struggles has not been the pain, but the fact that it has kept me from doing things. But my pain has not been very bad at all since the first week of January (thank the Lord!) and yet I still haven't been very productive.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've been letting my house crumble around me. I'm still doing dishes three times a day, making meals, sweeping floors, sorting laundry, changing diapers...but not much else. We've been doing school here and there. I've been doing yoga to try to get these muscles stronger. I did a little work in the greenhouse, did a little fishing, and mushroom picked with family and friends. I guess as I type it all out, it doesn't sound very lazy.
Maybe I feel unproductive because I don't have much to show for the things I have done. I haven't done any sewing, gotten to the home improvement and decluttering projects on my list, or even crocheted much. I've just been spending time taking it easy (as easy as a mama of five can). I've been playing video games with my kids. My toddler has developed a deep, passionate love for books, so I've been reading to him a lot. Maybe I've just been resting after all the chaos of the holidays.
And you know what? It's totally ok.
In the bible study I attend we have been learning about taking a Sabbath. Isn't it interesting that God goes into so much detail about the Sabbath when the ten commandments are written, and yet it is one of the most ignored commandments? Everyone agrees that "Do not kill." and "Do not commit adultery." are pretty important, but taking a whole day to rest and relax and be unproductive...Is that really what God would want from us?
Jesus himself said that the Sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:27).
I'm going to choose to not feel guilty about being unproductive. My worth, after all, is not determined by what I do. It's determined by who I am. And I'm not lazy, I'm just tired. I need rest.
I hope you wont feel guilty when you need a break too, mamas. We are only human. We need the rest. So cut the To-Do List in half and give yourself a break.
Lots of love,