Showing posts from May, 2021

Hanging On By Two Fingers

I feel like we can learn lessons in everything. It's one of my goals in life to be a person who is always learning. I certainly don't have it all figured out and I know God can teach me through any experience.  Last night was a rough night. I tried to go to bed early but the kids were being noisy so I ended up waking after a short doze. I started putting them to bed and then my hubby took over. After only a few short hours the toddler woke back up and was only satisfied by snuggling up next to mama. But he was still restless. I think he must have been having bad dreams, and I was having a few strange ones as well, so it was a toss-and-turn kind of night. Then the alarm went off at 5:30 am.  We are typically a late-to-bed-late-to-rise family (except for my hubby, who works early). I was up early this morning because my mom was on her way to pick me up for razor clam digging.  Have you ever been razor clam digging? I haven't been in years. Not just because of my pain issues.

Ready to EXPAND

I've shared a lot of struggles as a mom of preteens, but there's another factor about this stage that's pretty neat. The willingness to expand! Photo Credit: When my eldest turned about eleven, she came out of her shell more than ever before. Sure, she'd always been social but now she was willing to be brave.  One day, she wanted to make some friends and asked if she could go to the neighbors and ask if the kids could play. I agreed and she visited THREE different houses to ask the kids to play. I was incredibly proud and amazed. But that's the thing about the preteens they're ready. They're dreaming! The whole world is before them and full of possibilities and they're excited for them! Now, my second daughter is eleven and I'm seeing the very same thing. This girl is ready! She's ready to try all sorts of new things. She's ready to make friends and take on odd jobs and do anything she can to learn and grow. I might not like a lo

Change of Plans

 A about a month ago, my kids were exposed to chicken pox. I was excited because I really wanted them to get it and get it over with. Since I knew exactly when they had been exposed, I was able to plan for them to still enjoy our normal routine for the minimum 8 days it would take for them to be contagious during the incubation period and then we needed to be quarantined for a couple weeks to see if we had successfully contracted it.   I was not looking forward to quarantine. It's almost like a bad word for me. However, I figured it would be a good time to get caught up on some school and housework and yard work. My parents were not afraid to come around us and the kids were able to play with the friend that had exposed them to chickenpox and another friend who had been exposed, so we weren't completely isolated.  Still, I thought I should put something on the calendar to help substitute for the things we had to erase (church, crochet class, Awana, dance, and homeschool meetup)

The Letter of the Law

Today, I'm going to take a little detour from my normal mothering content to just share some personal things with you. In a world of "relative truths" I find it hard to know how to respond to the constant changing tides of ideas and ideologies. I want to be a presence of love and light in this world and I can't do that if I'm constantly questioning and trying comprehend all the new and strange things going on in our world. They're distracting, at least to me. I've been doing a Bible study on the Armor of God. I'm currently on the chapter about truth. It talked about submitting to truth so that you can walk a steady and stable life, not constantly changing opinions as new fads come along. I stopped right there and asked God "What is truth?" I was raised with the idea that there was only one right way of doing anything in life. I believed it fully too, till God asked me to do things out of my comfort zone. Out of the small, understandable box t


 Ladies, I'm in mourning. photo from Pinterest No, I haven't recently lost a loved one. And baby is still tucked safely inside my womb. So don't panic. What I am mourning about I thought I had already worked through and accepted.  But grief is a funny thing. Sometimes you think you are fine and you have worked it all out and then all of a sudden it boils up to the surface again.  This week I was sitting with a group of lovely women. We were talking over all kinds of subjects, as women usually do when they get together, when the conversation turned to exercise. And I could hardly keep from crying. Because I can't even go for a simple walk right now without there being painful consequences.  Exercise used to be a daily part of my life. When I was a young mother, it felt like the only way I could stay sane each day was to throw the kids into the double stroller (and usually have another one on my back) and go for a walk. The rhythm of walking, the fresh air and giggles of


I'm a compassion person, that's just how I'm made. I've always noticed the hurting, lonely people. I've always had a heart for those in need. I've always feel and empathize when I see a need. Because of this compassion I also see the ugly of evil and the destruction of relationships. I grieve the loss when families break and children are hurt. I ache when I see the depravity of this world because all of it results in pain for so many. It hurts. It breaks me. Photo Credit: Recently, I've been struggling with motivation to head into a challenging time that could be really beneficial. It's just hard to do, hard to be motivated, hard to stay on track.  Then, I heard something that broke my heart, made my stomach queasy for a bit, and then helped me think of a brilliant idea where so many hurting people could be healed, things made right where things are not. A beautiful idea. TWO NIGHTS in a row, all I thought about was this idea, this dream and

Best Birthday Ever!

I actually got my first positive pregnancy test on my 22nd birthday, but this year's birthday was a close runner up My birthday was over a month ago, but I'm still thinking about it. It was really one of the best birthdays I've had in a long time. Better than any Mother's Day I have ever had, either. Want to know why? Expectations.  I had none. Zero, zilch, nada. You see, every year I get ideas in my head about what a specific birthday or holiday is going to be like. And they are usually unrealistic fantasies. And I usually end up terribly disappointed. Because NO ONE can live up to or fulfill my imaginings. It's just impossible. So for my birthday this year, I decided that instead of trying to live an entire day DIFFERENT than my life actually is, I would just treat it like another day. I didn't tell my family this. I didn't tell them that I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, because that wasn't the truth. When my husband asked the week leading u

Mother's Day NOT a Fantasy Day

  Mother's Day... Envision sleeping in after a peaceful night's sleep, breakfast in bed, and lovely gifts showered on you by your husband and children... WHOEVER INVENTED THIS FANTASY ISN'T A MOTHER! I did get to sleep in, which was wonderful, before my little toddler crawled in next to me to snuggle, which is our morning routine and I love it! After he left to go get breakfast with his sister, I got a backrub from my husband (YAY) because I was really needed one. Then a backrub was complete with knocking on our door mid-way through. Then came... "Mommy, Daddy time"... TRUE parent moment. We are "enjoying ourselves" when a hurt baby start screaming and banging on the door. We entreat our eldest, through the door, to come get him and help him. She picks him up and proceeds to scold us through the door, "He wanted mommy love  and YOU WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO HIM!"... Needless to say it was hard to regain focus, but we managed.  Next, it's brea

I Almost QUIT!

I shared with you a few weeks ago how my second daughter has the spirit of Harriet Tubman. Well, that's no joke. Her strong-will and fiery spirit combined with the tension of the preteen craze was leaving me absolutely at a loss.  I was struggling to be able to accomplish what seemed to me like simple tasks during the day because of the amount of fighting going on. I would try to do school with my oldest and my fiery one would either fight on and off with her little brother while trying to play with him while I did school or she would fight with me. It was becoming increasingly challenging and absolutely frustrating! Then one day, IT BLEW UP! I had tried SO HARD, not only to get myself ready to sit down with my eldest for school (she requires one-on-one teaching for school) but also to make sure I got the younger two ready to play nice during that time. First day, my younger daughter fought with me throughout the whole hour of teaching my eldest, at the same time that I had to ente

Why Me????

Monday was a rough day. It was a stay-in-bed-and-cry-pretty-much-the-whole-day day. My pain was up, my frustration was up, and I think my hormones must have been very wonky. It was a "Why Me?" day. When I wonder why God gave me the life I have and why I can't live it the way I know I am supposed to. Well, it was a day when I was focusing on the hard parts of my life and wondering why I have to deal with them. No wonder it was a bad day... a quote from The Princess Bride, one of my favorite movies As I threw my "Why me?" questions at God, I was reminded of another woman that must have asked "Why me?". She was visited by an angel in Luke 1 and told that she was going to be the mother of the Messiah who would save her people. Out of all the young women in Nazareth that lived at that time, she was the one who was chosen. She had to have asked "Why me?". When the angel told her it was going to happen, when she was rejected by her betrothed because

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