Best Birthday Ever!
|I actually got my first positive pregnancy test on my 22nd birthday, |
but this year's birthday was a close runner up
My birthday was over a month ago, but I'm still thinking about it. It was really one of the best birthdays I've had in a long time. Better than any Mother's Day I have ever had, either. Want to know why?
I had none. Zero, zilch, nada.
You see, every year I get ideas in my head about what a specific birthday or holiday is going to be like. And they are usually unrealistic fantasies. And I usually end up terribly disappointed. Because NO ONE can live up to or fulfill my imaginings. It's just impossible.
So for my birthday this year, I decided that instead of trying to live an entire day DIFFERENT than my life actually is, I would just treat it like another day.
I didn't tell my family this. I didn't tell them that I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, because that wasn't the truth. When my husband asked the week leading up to it if I wanted to go anywhere or doing anything specific, I told him I would rather just play it by ear and see how the day goes.
And that's what we did. It was a Saturday and our morning went pretty normal. Except the kids all had sweet homemade gifts for me and hubby had bought me something nice as well. After breakfast I was asked what I wanted to do, and after thinking a few moments I decided it would be really nice if I could work on cleaning up and organizing my craft nook (which the kids also use, so it certainly needed some attention). I expressed my concern, though, about how I would probably be in too much pain to do my normal chores after tackling that task, so I asked if my family would cover those for me as part of my birthday present. We worked alongside each other for a few hours and then went on a little outdoors outing. When we came back, my pastor's wife had dropped cake off on my doorstep and we invited my parents to come help us eat it after my hubby made a nice dinner. I think we ended the day with watching part of one of my favorite movies, but I can't really remember how we ended our evening or even where we went on our outing.
All I can remember is the feeling of contentment that I had at the end of the day.
No silly disappointment. No tears. No resentment against the people I love the most for not making me feel special enough.
I have prayed to get to the point where this verse is true for me, and I'm not there yet. It takes a lot of work and intentional choices. I'm thankful that my attitude on my birthday shows that I'm making some progress in this area.
We mamas are so blessed. Yes, we also have really hard days and seasons. But let's remember that life isn't perfect for anyone, and we have so much to be thankful for.
Much love, mamas, and happy belated Mother's Day!